Coaching

I am a terrible coachee. I don't want to go on a journey of discovery or figure things out for myself. I want advice. I want anecdotes (preferably amusing) about experiences you have had as a leader. I want your opinion on what to do next.

One of my favourite phrases when feeling frustrated with Senior Leadership as a Head of Faculty is "if I could do my job without your input, I would be doing your job". Now I know that's a little self indulgent and petty but it usually happens when I feel like I'm not being given enough guidance on something or if I feel a lack of autonomy in the decision making process, whatever it may be.

I find Julie Starr's suggestion that instead of lecturing someone about a situation, you could ask a '..simple yet challenging question, such as ‘What do you think’s really holding you back here?’' interesting as I think this does imply a negative impression of the situation is held by the person asking the question.

Coaching is supposed to help the coachee think about the bigger picture, what they want to achieve and what that journey may look like. Perhaps I personally don't have the personality or mindset for that sort of strategic thinking but I do very much enjoy the little details and the micro-level operational planning. Maybe I just have impostor syndrome, I don't know.

Julie Starr poses these questions to use when deciding if a conversation is a coaching one or not:

Is the focus of the conversation mostly on the individual being coached?

Is the intention of the coach positive towards the person being coached?

Is the coach using skills of listening, questioning and reflection?

Does the conversation benefit the thinking, learning or actions of someone in some way?

Will the individual think about the conversation afterwards, and benefit from that reflection? (Starr, 2017)

The funny thing is, I quite enjoy coaching others. I enjoy the conversations, I enjoy seeing others developing their practice and I enjoy what I get out of it, in terms of my own reflective approach to my practice.

So, is it possible to be a good coach, yet a terrible coachee? Through being a good coach, can you improve your own practice without the need for a coach yourself?

Tweet @teach_music_ldn and let me know what you think.

Check out this great list of coaching questions from Chris Moyse

https://chrismoyse.wordpress.com/2020/01/05/coaching-questions/

References

Starr, J. (2017) Brilliant Coaching 3e: How to be a brilliant coach in your workplace (Brilliant Business)